I think its time to return to the planet of my birth, to forsake all others and wander the streets that are so familiar to me. My heart so heavy with the events that have recently unfolded in Sosaria… so much death there… my soul feels tainted.
The love that Marius has clearly displayed for the young Mary Drown chips away at any happiness that I felt being so close to him. I could deal with Pandora, well… somewhat deal. But to add to that, it is just too much.
I tried to seek my own passions, focusing on my budding business that I will surely continue with all the designer friends that I have back on Earth. But even that couldn’t keep my despair hidden.
I need this hole gone. I’ve carried it for far too long. If only I could find a love that would endure this eternity with me? Surely a vampire such as myself, but I tried that did I not? With Armand. But the feelings never took hold in the same way they had for Marius. Armand, even with his sorted past, just isn’t enough of a bad boy for me. Marius is certainly the bad boy that everyone loves to hate; but who else could be at that level to peek my interest? I can’t say I have found any.
Perhaps now, in this day and age, someone will come along that I could grant the Dark Gift to, something I have never considered doing since Marius had forbidden me. But he had broken our bond centuries ago. Why was I still so bound to his word? To the image of him? *grumbles*
This must stop.
I’ll leave Pandora a note, because I cannot face him, resigning my seat on the council. Through it all, even when we were at grave odds, Pandora has been the one I trust. I know she will keep Marius’ rage contained. There I go assuming he would be mad at my departure. Would he even care? Or is he too focused on his newest little slut to notice? I guess we’ll see.
So I break from the family I have been tied to for so long and go back home — on my own. They can’t say they didn’t see this coming now can they?