Downward Spiral

Ro1“No, no, no!” I resisted the urge to set my harp alight, choosing instead to scream out my frustrations at my inability to play properly of late. Wanting to cry, I glanced down and noticed just how much my hands were trembling. Was the stress getting to me more than I’d thought? I sighed softly as I set the lap harp down beside me, thinking back over the last few weeks. Ever since The Royal Britannian Guard found my aunt, it feels as though I’ve been on a downward spiral.

Despite Zach’s best efforts, I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep since Momma and Papa left… I miss them so much that I almost constantly want to just curl into a ball and cry. My patience has also been wearing extremely thin the last week or so. I even snapped at Brit over telling Frisco about everyone! I was so angry after that argument that I didn’t even care at the time if she hurt herself throwing things around the washroom. It’s so unlike me, and I feel terrible for it… but even though Zach told me I shouldn’t leave things too long, I just don’t think I can face her right now.

And that last meeting with my aunt… The Captains looked so surprised, and I even surprised myself with how rude and disrespectful my response to her opinions was. And with how bluntly I told her that I hated her and didn’t want to go with her. I got nervous though when she started yelling and essentially accusing the Romanus family of associating with a known vampire, and even got scared when she began stating that she would never allow them to parade me around such ‘vile creatures’. I’m not sure what happened after that though… Captain Anderson escorted me outside to wait with Zach. I managed to calm down a bit with him…

But then, as I watched her storm out in anger as Captain Erikkson was preparing to take me and Zach home, I couldn’t help feeling a twinge of satisfaction at seeing her so flustered…

…does that make me a bad person?

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