What the devil?!?


Not all cars are the same!  And when it comes to the cars that appeared in the last 100 years on Earth… no two are the same, even when they are.  My passion for these machines started with the Model T.  How fascinating it was to crank up the motor in one of those bad boys!  Truly magical.   Our collection of cars spans many models, many makes, and many years.  Marius shares this passion right along with me… I guess that’s why he when Mary first returned to us, it was the first thing he did for her on Earth — bought her a car. And of course not just any car either.  He wanted her to have the best, thus Mary drives around (when she can — she’s too famous to drive around alone now-a-days) in a shiny beautiful Ferrari 430 Convertible in White with Red Leather interior with her name carved in solid 24k gold plating on the driver’s side door. A real beauty!

And just like Marius spoiled Mary,  for the brief time that Va’lis had been my protégo I had indulged him with a slick concept Cadillac Cien which he fell in love with. But since he was new to Earth, I told him he was not allowed to drive it solo.  First he had to allow us to create him a full identity on Earth, then take driving classes, get a license, get insurance on the car, etc. etc.  He agreed. Then the whole situation happened and Va’lis decided he was better off without me… which broke my heart. But whatever!


So picture this… I am back on Earth, Rome to be exact, doing some shopping of course, and my iPhone rings.  Its Armand. “WHAT THE DEVIL HAPPENED IN THE GARAGE?!?” He yells. I am like, “What do you mean what happened in our garage?” … after a long pause, he growled again… “Armand, what the fuck is going on?”  I stopped walking and ordered my assistants to pause.  What? Someone has to carry my shopping bags!  I found a shaded area, stood by the tree and then…. “FUCKING TOTALED!!!” Armand again yelling in my ear… I had to pull the phone away from ear for that one.  “What’s totaled?”  I asked calmly… “MY BUGATI, THE CADDY, AND YOUR LAMBO!!!!” I dropped the phone from my ear down to my lap and not even the shade of the tree could contain the anger that permeated from the pores that no longer sweated out the body’s toxin.

“SON OF A BITCH!!!”  I yelled, almost forgetting what I was as my assistants who were a aways from me jumped in shock at the volume of my voice.  I put the phone back to my ear and yelled, “I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!!!”

Armand: “Wait what?! Kill who? You mean someone did this?”
Pandora: “Of course someone did this!  You think these cars would just roll off their elevators on their fucking own?!?”
Armand: “Who would be stupid enough to dare to bre— you’re not serious?”
Pandora: “Do I sound like I am joking? I know him… I know his knack for breaking rules.”
Armand: “Merida brought him to catch some of Mary’s concerts.”
Pandora: “And then decided he’s going to take a fucking joy ride!”
Armand: “Without a license?!”
Pandora: “Without knowing how to drive!!”
Armand: “God, he’s like a child!”
Pandora: “He is a child!”
Armand: “Are you sure it wasn’t one of the groundskeepers?”
Pandora: *silence*
Armand: “Right. I’ll tell Merida”
Pandora: “You do that. It was her bright idea to bring him over here in the first place!”
Armand: “Well it’s Mary’s concert.”
Pandora: “How bad is it?”
Armand: *whistles* “I don’t think any of these can be salvaged.”
Pandora: “Fuck.”
Armand: “Marius is gonna be dire piss—”
Pandora: “You think I don’t know that, ‘mand? Seriously! Everytime things are getting better between them, Va’lis goes off and does something stupid, pissing my husband off. I don’t think Va’lis understands how much work it is to love him for those that do!
Armand: “Well the Bugati can be replaced, but—”
Pandora: “I get it! I get it!”

I hung up the phone. “Mierde!” The Lambogheni is irreplaceable, and I can just hear Marius now.  I am never going to live this down.  The car had been a gift from Marius back in 1969 when he had become a Senator for the state of California which coincided with the 2,000th year anniversary of our marriage. It was a big year!  I had kept that vehicle in pristine condition, it meant so much to me.  Son of a bitch! I really am going to kill him… if Marius doesn’t first.  Just then my iPhone rang again… the caller ID said “Husband”.  Yup, I was in for it.

Pandora: “I know I know I know!”
Pandora: “What the guards that we employ at the Palace? The vampiric ones?”
Pandora: *sighs*
Marius: “If you do not get his ass in control, I will have to do it myself, Lydia! And you will not like the end result, I promise you!”
Pandora: *sighs*
Marius: *long silent pause*  “Get him out of this world and back to his own if you want to save his life! I will not compromise our masquerade on Earth! And Lydia make sure its no where I can find him. Because if I find him, I’ll kill him.”
Pandora: *blinks* “Are you threatening me Marius?!? Because it sure as hell sounds like you are!”
Marius: “Lydia Atia…” *a smug tone about him* “Do you not know me by now? I don’t make idle threats my dear.”

And with that he hung up on me.  I sat there dumbfounded. Was my husband really going to kill Va’lis after he was the one that resurrected him? Knowing what Va’lis means to me? I mean he’s practically my son! And I know Marius has feelings for him as well… he doesn’t let on to them but I know he does. He feels responsible for him. But I mourned Va’lis once… not about to do it again. Now… to find him!?! Hmmmm…. I’ll wait until tonight to use my Flight Gift to search for him!  What the devil is right!

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