Where Do Broken Hearts Go

brokenhearted

I stood there, in disbelief.  My father Amroth standing by my side, my mother Esme yelling and screaming at Pandora and Marius. Nu’jelm Palace filled with the echos of loud voices, voices that in that moment drowned out my internal screams of agony. I had been abandoned at the altar. Abandoned by the one man I had opened my heart, my life to.  What now?

I wanted out of that dress, like immediately out.  I ran to the bridal room and mom helped me out of it as fast as I could. And then it hit me… I dropped to my knees in my petticoat and underskirt,  I literally felt my heart break.  I was humiliated, broken, and left to face a very angry family all on my own.  My mother had had serious reservations about my engagement to Va’lis Razele, and she had all these doubts that had in that moment been proven true.  How many times did she try to talk me out of my love for him?  3? 4? 20? Almost every conversation with her had been about how I would regret this and how much Va’lis was a bad guy who would break my heart.  And sure enough,  he was … he was a bad guy. How could I have ever let myself come to this? How could I, the strongest soldier known to the Romanus Clan… a General… let a man do this to me?

Before my mother took a breath to say, “I told you so.” I put my hand up to her.  I didn’t need her judgement, nor her smug indulgences in her own righteous indignation,  I needed a mother’s touch.  She quickly zipped her lips shut and kneeled down to me and drew me up onto her lap. Her hug at that moment felt like permission to let it all out.  And I did… I sobbed for what seemed like ages.  At that moment, my father walked in. The look on his face said it all, he too was heartbroken. Oh how he loves me.  My sire wasn’t just my maker, he truly loved me as if I were his own daughter.  What I felt, he felt. He started to cry.

Later I would find out that Pandora stayed out by the front door, hoping some explanation would come and that Va’lis would show up with some wild excuse for his 4 hour long tardiness. She too was disappointed… disappointed and ashamed. Ashamed to face me, face my family.  So Marius said he would do it.  Marius stood at the door, arms crossed staring at the scene before him.  Afterall, he is my grand sire.  He too felt disappointed; once again let down by the son he never allows himself to admit he cares for. But there was a bit of understanding in him, understanding I could never find anywhere else. I looked up to him and managed to mouth out a, “Why?” I needed answers.  He stared at me, clenching his jaw.  “I have never known Va’lis to be afraid of anything, but this… this he was afraid of.  So perhaps my only explanation would be just that… fear.”  Esme would have none of that and immediately started yelling at Marius. He let her, understanding the anguish she was feeling at how her daughter had been just treated… at least for a little while before his hand went up to stop her from getting too far with him.  His eyes never left mine, locked on as if he was apologizing. He grabbed a flower from a nearby vase, a red rose,  and handed it to me stroking my cheek as he turned to leave.

Esme wanted to return to Earth as soon as possible to escape the possibility that Va’lis might come around to try to find me. I realized that at that very moment I did long for a sense of peace that only Charlottenburg in my home could bring me.  So we immediately packed up and left for Earth.  Berlin’s familiarity would help to ease the pain I was feeling. The fact that I had not visited here with Va’lis would help me forget him. Or so I thought.

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