I sat in the studio listening to Mary pour her heart into a song for the millionth time since we’ve begun to sing together. A fool would see how down hearted she was about Jace’s death. Damn Marius and his not being able to keep away from the girl. Mary never stood a chance and now she blames herself for his death. I morn with her, the boy was good for her in a way. There is nothing we can do to change what has done, so now we remember him in the good times and move on.
I felt a sudden presence of a little girl that Merida and Armand were looking after, the girl that Mary had bonded with in music, Saphira. I smiled and spun around catching her in my arms before she could pounce on me as she would normally do to surprise me. I made her laugh and sat her on my lap so she could watch Mary.
“Uncle Lestat, why is Miss Mary so upset?” she had asked me. I sighed and explained to her. “She lost a very dear friend to her, and it hurts her a lot. But not to worry Angel, she will pull through it.” Saphira nodded her cute blonde head and watched. “I wish I could sing like her…” she said. I could only smile. I coached little Saphira for a while about music, how it comes from everything around her. But the most beautiful of all music comes straight from the heart.
As I held her I was reminded of another girl, many years ago. My Claudia. A pain shot into my heart and I held Saphira closer to me. I smiled as she snuggled her head against me and watched Mary pour her soul into the Piano. I realized I missed her more now then ever. I will be the first to admit, little girl’s always take my heart. I made it a point to spoil all of my Nieces. But, they aren’t Claudia. I fight hard to put her in the back of my mind. I offered to write Saphira a song, her eyes lit up brightly. I sat with her and wrote, I did not think, I just wrote. But in the end, the song came from my heart, a song to Claudia that Saphira would sing. I heard the girl sing before, and I knew it would be perfection. Call it my selfishness, but I had to direct my feelings into something…no?
Saphira begged me for a while now to break out the violin. I played it for her once when I visited Earth and now she wanted more. I caved, how could I resist such eyes. I knew the consequences could be harsh if I did it, but I didn’t care. I only cared about making Saphira happy. I played for her; the music came from my heart. My grief for Claudia, my lost childe, my sweet angel love. My eyes closed, I heard Saphira begin to sing with the violin. It was beauty in itself; it was everything one could imagine a beautiful love song could sound like. My violin cried loudly, as did Saphira’s voice. To hell with everyone and Akasha if she awoke to the sound!
When the song was through, I set it down and held Saphira to me, for a split moment I saw Claudia. I felt her in my arms again; I wanted to hold her for eternity. I wanted to cry with her, laugh with her, be her father again. I wanted …what I know I could not have. When I opened my eyes I saw Saphira, my cute little niece. It was enough to nearly make me cry, but I smiled to her. She snuggled in my arms and yawned. I took her up into Louie’s old room and tucked her into bed where she could sleep for the night. After she fell asleep I walked into my empty room, collapsed onto the bed and cried. I cried for what seemed hours. Alone in the darkness I wept for my lost, beloved Claudia, I wept for my mistakes, I wept for myself, knowing I would never get her back. I, Lestat de Lioncourt, the biggest fool around.
After half the night was spent condemning myself for my mistakes I took up a notebook and pen, and I began to write. I wrote beautiful lyrics for Saphira and Mary both. I wrote songs for myself as well. I wrote things that no one else would ever see, not even my love, my Louie. I sat in my room, wondering how I could ever fix my own mind, how could I ever come to terms with my dear Claudia. I don’t see how Louie does it, but he has, and he has returned to me. That is all that matters I guess. When the sun comes up, I rest, and await the dusk of a new day, a new day I could spoil my special niece rotten…